I was watching Say Yes to the Dress the other day. I recognize that watching women shop for wedding gowns could easily be judged as vacuous and pointless. I do not watch it for enrichment purposes or artistic interest; yet some how, I always, learn from it. Here's what I learned this last time.
There was a young woman, a lawyer in the making, who had been to five shops previously, unable to find the "perfect" dress. As she tried on her new options, she seemed to really like them all. Yet as time passed, she became more uncertain and spoke of feeling confused.
The seasoned sales people knew she was analyzing her options too much; they wanted her to feel her way to her answer. Using her intellect to compare and contrast and comb through the details of every dress was only getting her in deeper. She had to withdraw from making arguments for and against, and simply tune to how she was feeling. Once she did that, her answer was clear and she felt the reassurance she had formerly been seeking through her analytical mind (a mind unsuitable for this task).
If I am feeling confused, insecure, and uncertain, my thinking has gone into an intense mode that is not serving me. The wheels are turning in my brain but they're not propelling me anywhere. The bottom line is: the "perfect" decision is only ever the one that feels best.
I have experienced the vortex of mental despair that pulls me down while trying to smartly arrive at the right choice. I have also experienced the great relief of saying "yes" to and going with the good feeling when it comes, no longer weighing pros and cons or questioning my choice.
It's nice to let myself be happy with whatever I decide instead of backwardly making the thing be responsible for my happiness. There is no perfect anything, it is the act of saying "yes" wholeheartedly that makes something seem perfect.
Lots of love,
From the Inside