Recently, my husband and son went out and my son returned drinking a soda. Though we get soda sometimes I felt he'd had too much lately and was angry at my husband for giving in and buying it (specific). My brain raced quoting how many teaspoons of sugar in a can of soda (detail), my son's lack luster teeth brushing sprung to mind (particular), his spotty diet (detail), similar debates with my husband (specific). My mind was spinning around a thread of frustrating, control seeking thoughts.
So I reduced the detailed story down to: Wanting Control and Feeling Frustrated. Then, I realized I don't feel like myself when I am trying to control anyone; I don't actually want to control anyone. I started to see the smallness of the matter against the bigness of wanting to feel like myself. The sacrifice of the big picture for my negative judgment on a detail was too great.
I may have little to no control over a situation but I have control over my focus and whether or not I am in step with my true self. Soda is minor but this awareness applies to everything. Frustration is wrestling with what I cannot control, while ignoring what I can.
The word integrity's derivation is "wholeness". From my integrity I do not judge details and call the whole broken. From a place of my own completeness, who I am loves all of it - the "wrong" and the "right". It loves all of it because it sees the big picture and the big picture is always gorgeous.
Love,
Jennifer