Look At It

I haven't suffered many physical wounds. Once I fainted into a doorway and had to have twenty something stitches in my forehead.  Yet, most of my wounds, results of falling off my bike - to having a mole removed, have shared one thing in common:  I didn't want to look at them. 

I didn't want to see anything "gross" or be alarmed.  It wasn't fear of the cut itself so much as fear of how I'd feel once I saw it - meaning my attention to thoughts that would feel distressing. The thought "Oh no!" for example, might activate a feeling of panic, if I invest in it. 

This goes for anything I don't want to look at. I fear seeing the thing because, on some level, I believe external conditions control how I feel.  For instance - I have left the bathroom dimly lit to avoid the face about which I might think not-so-nice thoughts and then feel bad.  But it is not the face - the face is innocent.  It's not even the thoughts - they are innocent; it is attention to the thoughts that packs the wallop.  For without attention, thoughts morph and move on.

Luckily, Life makes it possible to release fear by releasing our attention to those thoughts. Like allowing a top to spin itself to stillness, we can allow a thought to stop itself.  We no longer fight those thoughts or fight for them and our attention is freed and we are freed - freed to look at anything fearlessly.

Much Love,
Jennifer