I always thought of faith as something I had to determine to have, specifically with no logical reason to do so. I thought it was a blind dive taken for the sake of one’s sanity when the chips were down. But lately I see faith as a natural knowing, the result of being in step with what I really want and who I really am.
It’s easy for me to get out of sync with myself and feel conflicted. And focusing on what other people might think of me is the quickest way to do that.
Recently when we decided to hold off taking our sick cat Olive to the vet, I got out of sorts with myself. I wanted Olive to have the chance to get better on her own but was questioning myself. When she retreated to an outside spot by our house, sat straight up with her eyes drunkenly blinking, and growled when we tried to pick her up, I was conflicted. Though I didn't feel what we were doing was wrong - I was worrying others might think so.
But then I switched to thinking in a way that felt better. I let myself think 100% the way I wanted; I allowed myself to see the situation as I wished to rather than the way I thought was realistic (which so often means pessimistic). And when I did, faith was right there.
Strangely, the outcome no longer seemed to matter. I knew all would be well. I was finally right with me, whether or not judged as right by anyone else.
Are you right with you?
P.S. Olive recuperated quickly.
From the Inside