It's O.k. if You Do but I'd Prefer You Didn't

When someone is sick we understand their truer state is one of health and well-being; we also understand their behavior will not currently reflect who they are.  They'll most likely be a bit droopy, possibly grumpy and they may be doing things like lying in bed shivering, vomiting, sweating, glassy-eyed staring at the television for hours, and sleeping the rest of the time.

Normally, we would never define the person by that behavior; we wouldn't mistake the one who throws up on our shoes for the person they really are.  They're feeling bad and everything they're expressing is reflective of that.

Now imagine someone saying something generally like "You suck."  That's a bit like being thrown up on.  They're not speaking universal truth; they're feeling sick, out of tune with their true selves, and up that stuff comes.   

They’re still responsible for their behavior and you’re still able to decide whether you want to be around them.  And the bigger picture remains truer than the smaller one. The truth of who that person is, is truer than the truth of how they're currently acting.  How they're focused, the momentum of thought and feeling they've created, the state of not being in sync with themselves naturally erupts in that kind of behavior - as stomach flu erupts in vomiting.

At these times, it's useful to remember that people can get out of step with their authentic selves (sometimes chronically). The question is: are we in step with ourselves? 

Love,
Jen